Sunday, April 16, 2017

Replacing a hole in my heart...

Dogs!  What is it about dogs that can fill our hearts!

When we first purchased our home in June of 2012 our 11 year old daughter really, really, REALLY wanted a dog!  We kept telling her once we got a house we would EVENTUALLY get a dog!  So, we set out to find a puppy to give to our daughter for Christmas in 2012.  We did a little bit of searching around and found a shorkie puppy that was available from a place called Dream Puppys in Dothan, Alabama.  I received a picture of her and from that moment on we knew that we needed to prepare for our new pup!

On December 24th we told our daughter that we needed to go to Dothan to pick up something for her Dad's work.  We traveled to Dothan and started video taping when we arrived.  Breeanna had no clue what was about to take place!  We walked into the, unbeknownst to her, pet store, and received, whom we later called, Raisen!  The cutest little puppy you've ever seen!  Right from the get go she was a little hypoglycemic and had to be fed by hand.  Needless to say she became an extremely spoiled little girl.  She literally ate out of my hand for the 1st year of her life until....we got another dog!

Cotton was a surprise to us all.  Breeanna and myself just happened to stop by Dream Puppys during Thanksgiving break of 2013.  He was barking, barking, barking and a fluffy, fluffy, fluffy fur ball!  I asked if we could hold him and the rest was, as they say, his-story!  Cotton is a maltese and a very happy go lucky little boy!  So, our little family has grown, we now have a girl and a boy, what more could we ask for?  Apparently, for another dog!

Watson came to us from a friend of ours!  Watson, other wise known as Ringo, is a Rat Terrier mix.  He has one ear that stands straight up and one ear that flops, he sheds, he licks but he is very loving and sleeps like a baby each night smack dab in the middle of us, his Mom and Dad!

So, we did it!  We are now a family with dogs!  Everything was going pretty great until one night when Raisen was whining to go outside.  It was at 1:08am in the morning.  She has been outside at night several times before so we let her and our other two dogs outside.  Two came back and one did not.

My husband and I both went outside and started yelling the missing dogs name, but nothing, silence, quiet, stillness.  My husband got his spotlight out and started shinning everywhere, seeing nothing, hearing nothing.  But then!  Wait.  What is that?  He saw a pile of dirt out in the field in front of our house.  He walked toward it cautiously.  I stood in the yard watching him and then heard him say, in the most tender voice I've ever heard him use, "Raisen, oh Raisen!"  I saw him as he picked her up and how her body was limp.  All I could say over and over again was, "I just can't see her, I just can't see her like this, is she alive, is she alive?"  My husband said, "Yes, but she has been bitten, she is bleeding."  I said, "What do we do, what do we do?"

To make a long and sad story short, we took her to the animal hospital an hour away for them to tell us that they may or may not could save her for about $2000.00 and we had to leave her there so they could begin treatment to see if she would respond.  She did not respond and died around 5:00am on November the 13th of 2015.  A night I will never forget!  You see, I mentioned that we bought her for our daughter but because Raisen was slightly hypoglycemic when we received her I nursed her to health therefore making her MY dog and MY dog she was!  Time heals you but slowly!  The first couple of weeks everything about our house reminded me of her.  I was so upset and didn't know how to respond to this or how to get over it.  Then a friend of mine said to me, "are you going to get another one?"  Actually, the thought did not even cross my mind.  This thought eventually turned some of my grief to anticipation!

I started looking at puppy pictures!  Of course, I started with Dream Puppys website!  I had purchased two dogs from them and loved them both!  I looked on Pinterest to see what kind of puppy I wanted.  After a few months of searching I decided I wanted a Morkie, which is a maltease and yorkie mix.  There were several morkies available for purchase along the way but I needed to wait until summertime to purchase one due to being a teacher and wanting to be able to bond with the puppy while off during the summer.  I contacted the owner of Dream puppies on February 12th letting her know that I was on the search for a puppy that was similar to Raisen but more golden then she was. I was constantly looking at pictures of puppies on pinterest and on Dream Puppys facebook page. I was stopping by Dream Puppys store every time I went to Dothan.  I was even trying to figure out what I was going to name this new unknown puppy.  I knew that I wanted a name that would end with a "n" because we had Raisen and we have Cotton and Watson!  Some of the ideas were, Pumkin?  No!  Craisen?  No!  Button?  No!  Nothing seemed to work.  Then, on May 6th when I was in the stage of coming out of deeply sleeping all night I heard someone say "Muffin!"  I woke up with excitement and said, Muffin? Yes!   I decided to send a text to Mrs. Williamson from Dream Puppys again to let her know that I was in the window to purchase a puppy from May 27th on if she could be on the lookout for me.  On May 18th I woke up feeling lead to read Romans 8:28, "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."  I later that morning wrote this journal entry, "Searching for a replacement dog for Raisen has consumed my thinking!  I do want another dog!  I really don't even care if it sounds ridiculous.  I don't like that she was just "taken" from us so viciously.....grrrrrrr!  God, please provide a replacement for that loss in my life!  Please!  Thank you! (from daughter to heavenly Father kinda plea!)"

I decided that I needed to text the Dream Puppys owner again to see if she had had any luck.  She said that she did and she would send pictures soon and that I need to let her know as soon as possible if I wanted one.  In the meantime, I called my husband to tell him that she was going to send me pictures.  He said, "Just remember sweetie it may not be what you want but it will be what you need."  For some reason, that statement really stood out to me.  Later on that evening, I received two photos of two available puppies.  I immediately became upset and disappointed.  It was not was I was looking for.  I went to bed that night upset and did not sleep well with thoughts of one of the puppies in mind.  I decided to go ahead and ask to see one of them.  When we set up a time for me to go see the puppy she called me and started to give me directions to the puppies breeder.  When she was telling me we both realized that it was the same breeder that Raisen came from!  I was thrilled.  Of course, the 1st time I laid eyes on her I knew she was the one. Matter of fact I told the breeders that she already had a name!   She was only 5 weeks old and I had to wait until 3 weeks to bring her home.  She still did not really look like what I thought I would get, but I believed she was what I needed maybe not necessarily what I wanted.  I received a couple updated pics of her over the past couple of weeks but what really got me is the updated picture I received of the week I was to pick her up.  So stinkin' cute!  She started to fill out and get really fluffy!

The day has arrived!  We were not going to head to pick her up until my husband got off of work which was not until 2:00pm.  So, I kept myself busy with visiting my new grandson and doing some school work at home.  Nervousness, excitement, anxiousness and thrills are some of the feelings I had on the way there.  When we walked in and looked at all the puppies, I knew which one was mine, Mrs. Williamson had put a purple bow in her hair (my favorite color and she did not know that but God does!) and she was the smallest, cutest puppy in the store!  As soon as I picked her up and said her name, she immediately licked my nose and my face (something that only Raisen did!)  I knew at that moment that God gave me EXACTLY what I NEEDED to fill that empty hole in my heart!  Not a Raisen Bran but a Bran Muffin:)

Video in memory of Raisen
Video of Muffin!